Nail Polish that Never Chips
by cre8tive
Summary: When Jay and Erin get kidnapped, what will happen? Will they be strong enough to stay alive and together?
1. Who Knew

Hi guys so I am new to writing fan fiction but I love Chicago P.D and I love linstead and I wanted to create a story about the two of them getting kidnapped! Please leave comments and review as I love hearing new ideas and what y'all would like to see! Thanks I hope you enjoy!

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The beeping from the coffee machine startled Erin as she was completely zoned out sitting in the lunch room. Today was the start of what seemed to be a very long and emotionally draining case the team was working on. Of course the case dealt with kids, which hit the spot with Erin every time. Erin was sitting down perched on one of the wooden chairs next to the lunch table, which had a great few out of the nearby window of downtown Chicago. She was completely lost in her own thoughts when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Feeling the strong warm hands, she was shaken out of her thinking and looked up to see the concerned face of her partner Jay. Although Voight hadn't allowed them to be together it didn't mean they still couldn't care about each other. They were going to keep it professional even though that was the last thing either one of them wanted to do.

"Er you okay?" Jay questioned Erin seeing how she was deep in thought.

Erin looked up again seeing the compassion in his eyes, and dropped her eyes down to the floor. "Yeah, I um you know.. these cases can be rough. I hate seeing these kids get hurt, I wish there was something I could do."

Jay opened his mouth to respond, wanting to be there for her before he was cut off by Voight yelling for them to gather by the board. They must have found new information.

"Alright listen up, Ruzek got a hit with Zilinsky's phone number." Voight directed their attention to Ruzek who was giving them details about the phone number that was from the phone they found in a nearby dumpster which was on the crime scene.

The case they were working on was about a man named Jonathan Zilinsky. There was nothing to big in his records, a couple priors for stealing and assault , but now he was the main suspect in a recent murder. They had got the call early that morning that a body was found, and Burgess and Atwater were the first two at the scene. When the rest of the team pulled up and hopped out of the SUVs, they ducked under the yellow tape that surrounded the scene and dreaded looking at the body under the dark blue sheet that was covering it. It was barely even thirty degrees, the whole team was bundled up, and they were all still half asleep. Erin had walked over to Burgess to ask what had witnesses told them, she stopped in her tracks and was taking in the fact that Burgess had tears that were filling her eyes. She looked from Burgess to the body bag and slowly made her way over. She grabbed the body bag and held the zipper in her hand. Her team's eyes followed her, "Erin" Jay said quietly as to warn her that what she was about to see could be really bad. Chills ran through her body but she pulled the zipper down despite her gut feeling that she was already in this too much emotionally. The zipper was pulled down and all Erin could do was gasp and turn away so no one could see her tear filled eyes.

Bouncy bleach blonde curls and pale silicone like skin. A light pink dress with a white collar. A beautiful and so innocent girl. Maybe 7 years old. Dead, laying dead in a body bag in a damp alley off of one of the main streets.

Now being back at the district the team was working harder then ever to help find out why this poor little girl was killed. They had talked to her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Dahn. They were devastated to find out what had happened to their daughter but had no idea how it happened. Mr. Dahn owned a local corporate office that worked for construction for the newest hotel that was being built. After getting through all of the questioning they had narrowed it down to Jonanthan Zilinsky. He was recently laid off at 's corporation, and didn't take it very lightly and had actually threatened himself.

Oddly enough the phone they had found that was dumped at the dumpster had Zilinksy's finger prints and matched the contacts and messages to . "So we found a hit as to where the phone's location is synced to his house. We got a 5432 Meadow Lane." Ruzek announced to his team.

"Alright you heard the man, let's roll out. Everyone vest up, who knows what this man is capable of." Voight led his team to the garage.

The team had loaded up and were in route to Zilinsky's address. Erin and Jay were pulling up to the front of the house. Erin parked the car and looked out of the window, "Erin hey look I know I kinda got cut off back at-" Jay didn't get to finish his sentence because Erin had reached over and placed her lips softly on his. At first he was surprised but then slowly kissed back. This was one of the few moments where Erin showed public affection like this even though they weren't allowed. Jay was definitely not complaining.

Erin leaned back, and looked into his bright blue eyes and thanked him. She was always thankful that she had him as her partner and well "best friend". She loved Jay but it just wasn't met with the right timing with work. Jay understood why she had been affectionate and let one of his grin's show on his flawless face. He loved her so much, she always made her smile.

Slowly one by one the team pulled up in front of the house. Voight hopped out of the car and gathered everyone and gave them the run down of what was to happen. Erin and Jay were told to take the back and the alley that surrounded the house, Ruzek and Atwater to the front with Voight. Everyone was to stay calm and quiet unless Voight gave them the go if necessary. Once everything was explained, Erin and Jay made their way past the rusted metal fence and entered the backyard. The yard was small and not taken care of. The grass was high and there was nothing there except a single shed. The both of them heard Voight and the rest of the teams voices in their ear, yelling the normal "Clear!" to notify the team that Zilinsky was no where to be found inside the house. Jay was looking through the shed when Erin decided to take a peek into the dark alley that was connected to the backyard. She turned the corner to sift through boxes and beer bottles to see if she could find something.

Once Jay had finished up, he was getting ready to head back out to the front yard when he noticed Erin wasn't with him anymore. He noticed the alley and decided to check and see if Erin had decided to explore around some more for evidence. When he turned by the fence to face the alley he saw Erin's body laying lifeless by the bin's of trash. "Erin!" Jay yelled and took off into a sprint to reach her body. When he reached her, he shook her but held her head and felt for a pulse. When he reached down to grab his radio to call in an ambulance a sharp pain radiated from the top of his head and the next thing he knew everything went black.

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Thank you guys so much for reading! Please leave reviews and comments! I would love to hear any suggestions as well! I plan to continue this story, and have some great ideas for it! I will try and update as much as possible!


	2. Bruises Too Dark

Hey Guys! Hope you are having a great weekend! I am so thankful for all of your reviews on my first chapter, and I am glad you guys liked it! I am excited to add more aspects into this story and get into the kidnapping of Jay and Erin. Hope you enjoy!

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Cold. Wherever he was it was really cold. He could hear muffled screams and loud noises but he couldn't tell where they were coming from. He didn't have the strength to open his eyes but he slowly started taking in his surroundings. The coldness he was feeling was from concrete. He was laying on the ground face down. He slowly tried to lift his head to turn but he next was so sore, not to mention the pounding in his head.

He eventually opened his eyes and gathered his strength to prop himself up. He leaned against the cold dark wall, as he placed his head against it, he hissed. When he reached up he felt dried blood. Everything was coming back to him. He was hit in the head before he was knocked out. He sighed with relief as it wasn't as bad as he thought it was. He was already feeling it start to heal. Wait, he thought. What happened? He racked his mind for answers until he got one that made him worry.

Erin.

He remembered seeing her body outside in the ditch. Whoever hurt her must have attacked him as well. As he started coming to the realizations of him being kidnapped he really took a good look at the room he was in. There were no windows just a single door. It was dark in the room, his eyes had finally adjusted and he could see that Erin wasn't in the room with him. The room smelled of mold and looked abandoned, it looked as if no one had been here in years. He slowly made his way up the wall by using his feet to prop him up, and when he was balanced and less dizzy he tried the door. Locked. He was about to walk away ans search the room when he heard the muffled noises come from the other side. Jay's eyes widened, it was Erin.

He didn't know what to do, he needed to see her and help her. He didn't know who had them , but he was ready to fight. While he was thinking he didn't notice that the noises had stopped but he heard shuffling towards the door. He backed away just enough so that the door could open, and when it did, he did not like what he saw.

It was Jonathan Zilinsky supporting a beaten up Erin on his right side. "Oh good you are finally up! Just in time to see how much fun your girlfriend and I had" Zilinksy said grabbing hold of Erin's face and smirking. Erin couldn't even support her head, it dropped back down towards the ground. Zilinsky let out a quiet laugh. "What the hell did you do to her?" Jay yelled. "Easy there pretty boy, you took a pretty good blow to the head you miht want to take a seat" Zilinsky directed towards Jay and slowly pulled out a pistol from his back pocket. Jay wanted to snap back but decided he should listen and see why Zilinsky had targeted them.

As Jay moved back to where he had woken up, he sat down and watched Erin being pulled along to the other side of the room. Zilinsky wasn't gentle and dropped her down to the solid concrete , her body hitting the floor with a loud smack. Jay cringed and couldn't watch as she looked so broken and fragile, he had never seen her in such a bad state, all he wanted to do was rush to her side and hold her. "You are probably wondering why I have brought you here, am I right?" Zilinsky questioned Jay. Without a response back from Jay he continued, "Haha well you seem enthusiastic! But point blank you were getting too close to finding me, and I am not about to spend my life in jail for something that isn't my fault". Jay was confused, " You mean you didn't want to go to jail for killing an innocent little girl?" Zilinsky had a flash of panic set in his eyes but it went away as he continued, " Well that wasn't my fault you see.. was the one who fired me, he should be the one to blame!" and before Jay could even answer Zilinsky , he started to mutter to himself and headed to the door. Before he turned to shut it and gave a look at Jay and shut it and Jay heard the click of a lock.

The man must have not been in his mental state, he seemed as if he was playing things out from what he was imagining in his head. It was like he didn't know the law and that he was innocent while was. This could be more difficult then expected.

While thinking Jay totally forgot Erin was laying down on the other side of the room. He picked up his feet and ran over to her, kneeling down by her side. "Erin? Hey Er you okay?" Jay asked without getting a response. She was completely knocked out. Jay just ran his eyes over her. She was so pale and her skin was covered in dark green and purple bruises. He shifted sides and leaned up against the wall and lifted her up so he could hold her in his arms. He moved the strands of hair away from her eyes. Her lip was busted and her left eye was black, she looked like she would break right there in his arms. Her clothes he remembered seeing her in before they were abducted were tattered and wrinkled. What really caught his eye was the inside of her arms, they were covered in slices and cuts from some sort of knife. They were fresh but the blood had dried up. The more he observed her the more angry he got. As his eyes traveled down her body he could see her skin from her abdomen and how dark it was. He didn't want to believe how bad it was but he lifted her shirt to reveal her stomach completely dark and covered with black and purple bruising. She must have broken some ribs. She was just lifeless laying in his arms and he couldn't do anything about what happened to her.

As he held her close in his arms, he knew he was ready to fight if this were to ever happen again. She got the beating he should have gotten, and now he couldn't see her warm brown eyes that he loved. He loved her eyes. He loved her smile. He loved everything about her, who was he kidding he loved her. And now he might not get the chance to tell her.

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I hope you guys enjoyed it. I know I am taking it pretty slow with the kidnapping but I feel like the details are important! I will be posting very soon with some more action, as for now I am easing into the main part of the story. Please leave comments and reviews, they are much appreciated! Thank you!


	3. Got a Hit

Hey guys! So I got alot of requests and great reviews and I want to incorporate that and give yall a big thank you and post the 3 chapter! I want to continue off the details I gave last time and include Voight and Erin. I hope you enjoy!

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"God damn it! Its almost been 24 hours since Erin and Jay have dissappeared and we have nothing!" Voight yelled and slammed his fists on his desk.

Everyone in the pen kept there heads low, its not that they weren't trying it is just that Zilinsky covered his tracks well and its like he's a ghost. Everyone was emotionally and physically drained. Ruzek didn't even have the energy to crack one of his stupid jokes. They just wanted to find Erin and Jay and they wanted to be positive that the both of them were alright.

"Okay look, Zilinsky targeted the Dahn's daughter and he dumped her. It wasn't likely he killed her in that alley. He was on the run and needed to put her there as well as his phone. So this guy isn't thinking smart, there has to be something he has left behind." Anotnio told the team as he walked towards the board.

"Mouse, you got nothing from his phone? What about recent phone calls?" Voight asked.

"The phone numbers are nearby businesses and stores, we are working to see if they correlate to a nearby location. Wherever he is it looks like Zilinsky has been furniture shopping quite a bit. So it looks to be he is some place unfamiliar." Mouse replied.

"Alright everyone keep working on it." Voight said as his eyes grazed over Erin's empty desk. He couldn't lose her. It felt like he just got her and took her into Camille's and his home. She was everything to him, his daughter, his happiness. Before he headed back into his office he looked over to Jay's desk and his eyes hardened. If Jay was with her, he would protect her and keep her safe. He didn't have to worry about them too much, because even though he didn't like to say it, they made a great team and were really strong together.

With one more glance around the pen at the rest of his team, Voight walked into his office and slammed the door shut.

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 _Someone was touching her. She could feel the ropes that had rubbed her ankles and wrists raw. She couldn't lift her head, it was pounding and there was a severe amount of stinging coming from the inside of her arms. She slowly tried to shift her head so she could relieve some of the tension in her neck._

 _"Well well well, look! The pretty cop awakens!" Zilinsky snickered._

 _"whha- wha?" Erin tried to ask where she was or what was happening but she was still so out of it._

 _"Do you know who I am Detective Lindsay?" Zilinsky asked. And when there was a muffled response that he couldn't understand, it angered him. He was important, Dectective Lindsay should know who he is._

 _He let out a snicker and walked closer to erin causing her heart to beat faster. He lifted her head up so he could look in her eyes. His eyes were cold and black and she couldn't see any light in them. She was worried she wouldn't make it put alive. Without even getting the chance to react , Zilinsky grabbed a steel bat and with all of his force targeted her abdomen._

 _The blow nearly took Erin out, she knew that wasn't the first time that he must have hit her because it wouldn't have been so tender if he hadn't. As she was being beaten over and over, she was slowly losing hope. She needed Jay and her team. They needed to help her and save her because she was going to get no where with this guy._

 _Zilinksy started talking again which caused her to snap out of her thoughts, "Want to play a game of tic tac toe detective?"_

 _Before Erin could even answer, Zilinksy went to the far corner of the room which was dark and damp. This was definitely an abandoned building. He then turned around with a knife._

 _Her heart began to beat rapidly, she could feel the panic and tears rising in her throat. No.. No.. No this can not be happening._

 _The next thing she felt was the knife being used to carve her skin. She screamed and screamed but the sad thing was, she wasn't going to be heard._

Erin jumped, frightened by what she had dreamed or you could say relived. She instantly regretted it because the amount of pain she felt was so intense she thought she was going to pass out again. But what kept her going was the warm feel of hands around her body. She looked up to see Jay, asleep with his head leaned up against the wall. What was he doing here? How did he get here? Shehad so many thoughts running through her head but all she wanted to do was stay in his arms and have him hold her tight.

She slowly reached up to place her hand against his face. His skin was so soft and he was so warm, she could feel the scruff from his unshaved face and her eyes began to fill with tears.

Jay had started to wake up, he felt he cheek being touched and was frantically hoping it was Erin and that she was up. Soon enough his eyes adjusted to the light and he looked down to see Erin looking up at him.

"Oh my gosh Erin" He quickly embraced her in a hug. He was so relieved to see her awake that he didn't think of how much pain she was in.

He quickly let go but still held her up to support her, he could see the pain written all over her face not too mention the tears in her eyes. She looked broken, and this just killed him. Why would Zilinksy go after Erin and not him.

"Hi" Erin mumbled never letting her eyes leave his.

"Hi back" Jay responded with a small smile on his face.

"Will you help me sit up?" Erin said as she tried to lift her arms to help her get seated but they gave out letting her fall back into Jay's arms.

Jay nodded and lifted her and situated her to where she was sitting next to him. She couldn't even move herself because of how much pain she was in.

"What happened? How did you get here with me?" Erin questioned Jay.

"i saw you knocked out in the alley we were searching through and Zilinsky knocked me out and ta da here I am" Jay responded trying to lighten up the mood.

Erin instantly began to look over his body in search for any injuries or to see if he was hurt, and her eyes found the dry blood that matted her hair. She began to reach up to see how serious it was but Jay stopped her.

"Erin I'm fine, it doesn't even hurt. But you... are you okay? How are you feeling?" Jay's arm instantly wrapped around Erin so he could give her a kiss to her temple to let her know she was alright and that he was there.

"Um I guess I took a pretty good beating" erin tried to laugh a little bit but it quickly turned into a wince. "He uh punched me a few times and went at me with a bat, and um there was... tic tac toe" Erin closed her eyes and tried not to relive it. The tears began to fall, and she couldn't hold it in anymore, she was so scared and so hurt.

Jay immediately pulled her into his chest and let her cry. He was trying to comfort her but how do you do that while being held hostage in a basement. He pushed her hair out of her face and rubbed circles onto her back to calm her down. He can't stand seeing her like this. Eventualy she quieted down and Jay knew he had to check and make sure all of her injuries were okay and not life threatening.

"Can I check to make sure you are really okay? I want to make sure nothing is infected or too severe because if so we have to figure out something to do." Jay asked.

Erin lifted her head and asked to be laid down because she was getting dizzy. With that, Jay eased her down to the cold concrete and got on his knees to examine her. He started with her face, pushing the loose strands away from her face and looking at her busted lip and eye. His eyes eventually traveled to her arms, he was worried the cuts would get infected but many of them looked like they were healing. He dragged his fingers lightly over them, making Erin shiver under his touch but it also soothed her. Then he stopped and didn't know how to brace himself for her stomach. He remembered what it looked like yesterday, but by now it would be ten times worse. He looked at her for approval and moved his hands to lift her shirt. What he saw made his eyes tear up. She was so battered and beaten up, her skin was so dark and bruised it was astonishing how bad it looked. He then looked back at Erin who was looking directly at him telling him to continue. Jay slowly laid his hand against her abdomen and ran his fingers all over the bruises. Erin could feel every single bruise he touched but laid still.

Jay felt around , and it was all mush. The beating must have broken ribs but now he was worried that Erin's injury could be worse then he expected. She could be internally bleeding. Jay knew this was severe but he didn't want to show it on his face. When he looked over at Erin, her eyes were getting heavy. He then covered her stomach and scooched next to her on the ground. Erin then moved into his side and let him hold her because she didn't know if they would have another chance.

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The rest of the day had been unsuccessful. Voight was getting frustrated at the lack of information they had. Antonio had taken ruzek to go chat with his CI and Atwater remained at his desk searching frantically for information on his computer. Voight sighed and turned to look out thw indow, wondering where Erin could be. He needed to tell her how important she is and how much he loves her.

All of a sudden he heard commotion from the pen and turned in his chair to see Atwater running to Mouses desk. He got up and ran to open his door and as soon as he did, his eyes met with Mouses.

"Sarg we got a hit!"

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I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I know it isn't the longest but I'm working on my writing, I am new and just kinda feeling it out. I wanted to incorporate Voight for you guys and give you details on what happened to Erin but also kept that Linstead going. please leave comments and reviews as I would love to hear what you think!


	4. You Messed Up Big Time

Hi Guys! I am so so so sorry that it took me so long to update and continue the story for you! I have had a busy summer and just kinda lost track of time! But don't worry I am back and I plan to write more and finish off this story! Please review and leave suggestions for other stories that you would like me to write about! Thanks!

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"It narrows it down to a old warehouse off of Broad" Mouse yelled to his team.

"Alright you heard the man, everyone suit up! We need to get there as fast as possible. You have seen Zilinsky , you know what he is capable of!" Voight barked.

Everyone began to move quickly and head out in search of the warehouse.

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Jay slowly opened his eyes, he was confused at first but remembered where he was. He felt Erin shift in his arms, he didn't want to wake her. She was so hot, Jay could feel the heat coming off of her body, she definitely has a fever.

He was so concerned for her, why after her crazy childhood did she have to go through and even more dramatic experience. All he wanted to do was protect her and he couldn't even do that. He failed and now she was stuck with him in this dark basement and her injuries being very serious.

Suddenly the door knob started to giggle, Jay remained still and tightened his grip around Erin. At least if Zilinksy tried to hurt her in front of him he could put up a fight.

The door swings open, "Ahhhh why hello there! Nice to see you made yourself comfortable! Zilinksy shrieks.

With all of the commotion, Erin slowly woke up and noticed who had joined them in the room. She grabbed onto Jay holding on for life, the pain had increased so much she couldn't get up or move without Jay's help.

"How are you feeling darling? Ready for some more fun?" Zilinksy says with a sly grin on his face.

"NO! Absolutely not! Do you see how badly hurt she is, take me! Do whatever you want with me but leave Erin alone! Jay yelled. He couldn't bare to have her taken away from him and to be beaten again.

"Oh how heroic, the boy saves the damsel in distress. Well since you seem to be so eager to join us, its your lucky day because I need you both!" Zilinksy directed at Jay.

Jay wished he had his gun or just about anything to protect Erin and himself as Zilinksy walked closer. When Zilinsky reached to grab Erin, Jay threw a punch but Zilinsky reacted before him and used his taser right at Jay's abdomen.

Jay flinched with pain and loosened his grip on Erin, which then Zilinsky grabbed her. Jay was thanking the taser sessions his team and Voight had done because if not he would have completely blacked out. But it was even worse seeing Erin getting dragged away from him.

She couldn't stand on her own so Zilinksy hoisted her up so he could wrap his shoulders around her. She kept looking back , never leaving eye contact with Jay as her eyes let tears fall down her now purple skin.

But what took both Erin and Jay by surprise was that he wasn't taking her out of the room but sitting her down in a wooden chair in the corner of the room. He slowly tied her up , Erin flinched as her burns from the ropes earlier were still fresh.

After Erin had been tied up, he moved to jay who was still laying on the floor paralyzed from pain. He lifted him up with a rough thrust and pulled another chair out and sat Jay in it. He tied him up and laughed and kept a satisfied look on his face.

Jay and Erin sat across each other on opposite sides of the room. Erin could barely keep her head up to look at Jay, she was barely conscious.

"Erin baby stay wit-" Jay was cut off by gzilinksy using the taser again this time in his shoulder. After that Jay could barely speak. He couldn't. help her, he loved her he needed to let her know.

"So who wants to play a game? "Zilinksy asked, and when no one answered he ran to Erin and pulled her hair back revealing her beaten face.

Jay didn't want to watch as he tasered Erin in the abdomen and he left her head fall back, she couldn't even hide the tears anymore she was in so much pain.

"Stop! I said stop!" Jay yelled.

"Oooh would you rather do it yourself detective?" Zilinksy grinned again.

Before Jay could say anything, Dust was everywhere and everyone began to cough. Voices were coming from upstairs, and to Jay it sounded like Voight and the team. They made it in time.

"What? What did you do! How did they find me?" Zilinksy shrieked towards Jay. He was so confused as to how he got caught.

As soon as the voices got closer , he quickly untied Erin and held her body up by yanking her hair and held a knife to her stomach. Erin couldn't even hide how much it hurt and she just dangled in Zilinsky's arms. She had no fight left in her, she was so weak.

Jay couldn't take this and started fighting to get released from the chair, yanking and jumping around to try and find anything that would loosen the ropes. "What do you think that's going to do? You think threatening to stab her gets you free? They will kill you! Let her go!" Jay screamed extra loud to hopefully send his team in their direction.

Soon enough the door banged open and was knocked off the hinges, Voight came in holding his gun directly at Zilinsky. he saw Erin and his heart drop, she looked like she was barely alive and her breathing looked shallow. He then had Ruzek file in after him and check out Jay, apparently Zilinksy's only interest was in Erin and Jay was just along for the ride.

Once Jay was untied and standing with his team, Voight was demanding Zilinsky drop the knife. "You messed up big time Zilinksy, and the best part about it is that I get to deal with you! Now drop the knife!"

"Well I will end up dead either way right?" Zilinksy said between laughs and angled the knife toward Erin's stomach and applying more force. Erin gasped and tears filled her eyes again, she just wanted to leave with her team and be safe again.

It was all so quick when it happened, but Zilinsky started laughing a wild laugh and as he leaned his head back he pulled the knife back and Voight saw what was about to happen and pulled the trigger.

Zilinsky's body dropped as well as Erin's, but Voight was too late. Erin laid on the floor with the knife stuck in her stomach.

It was like everything went into slow motion, Jay sprinted to Erin holding her head up and placing his hand over the wound as the blood spewed out of her. "Call for an ambo now!" Jay yelled as tears brimmed his eyes. "Erin hold on, don't you close your eyes. I need you to stay , I need my partner! I need the woman I love for crying out loud!"

Erin just looked into his eyes and gave him a sad smile, "I Love you Ja-" and her eyes glassed over and she went limp.

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I hope yo guys enjoyed this chapter! I tried to make it as actioned packed as I could! The next chapter will be out very soon so you will just have to wait and see what happens for Erin! Pleas leave reviews and comments letting me know how you liked it! Thanks!


	5. Slow Motion

Hey Guys! I tried not to wait too long before writing for you guys! This chapter was probably one of my favorites to write and I can't wait to continue! Please leave reviews letting me know how you liked it and what you would like to see! Thanks :)

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It was too loud for Jay in the hospital. The constant beeping, the talking coming from the nearby nurses and doctors walking by, and the fast beat of his heart. He was sitting in a chair next to Erin in her hospital room. He was in complete shock at what had happened and now here he was looking at the girl he loved laying in a hospital bed hooked up to so many machines and a breathing ventilator. He needed to get some air and clean himself up, so he decided to head to the bathroom.

He walked in and leaned on the sink looking down at the floor, and when he looked up to see himself in the mirror he was startled. He didn't recognize himself. He looked so weak and so broken. His eyes were bloodshot from the crying and he was covered in Erin's blood. He turned the sink on and went to splash himself when he looked back on the terrifying events that happened. It was liked everything happened in slow motion.

 _"Where is that ambo?!" Jay screamed not even trying to hide his anger and sadness in front of his team. He was sobbing._

 _"It's here! Jay bring her fast!" Antonio yelled from the doorway._

 _He was sprinting with her in his arms. He saw the red flashing lights, and even though he didn't think it could be possible he ran ever faster. When he got to the ambulance they immediately took her out of his arms and he felt helpless watching her get strapped to the board and being pushed inside. Jay didn't hesitate before jumping in himself._

 _She looked so limp and lifeless as they gave her oxygen and pricked and prodded at her arm for an IV. Jay wouldn't let go of her hand , and his eyes hadn't left her since they had been saved._

 _Suddenly, loud beeping had occurred from the machine Erin was hooked up to, and that's when Jay was pushed to the side. He couldn't hold her or touch her anymore he had to watch as she was fighting for her life. Jay's head dropped to his hands and he shook violently with sobs._

 _"BP is low!"_

 _"She is in Vfib!"_

 _"Another EPI"_

 _And then the beeping came back to the stable beat it was before. Jay looked up and gave a sigh of relief when her heartbeat was back on the monitor and her stats were okay. The next thing he knew she was being taken up for surgery and now here he was._

 _Splash._ The water was cold, and made Jay jump a little. He looked back up again , drying his face and hands. He needed to be here for Erin and stay strong no matter what. The positive thing was she made it out of surgery and the surgery went well, now they just had to wait for her to wake up.

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Voight slid the glass door to her room open, and walked inside quietly. He took in how his daughter looked laying in her hospital bed. She was so pale and thin, and the bruises which use to be green and purple had turned to a dark black and blue.

He couldn't have imagined what would have happened if they would have showed up even later. He should have worked faster to get to her and Jay. This would have never happened if he let everyone split up looking for evidence.

He slowly made his way to the chair next to Erin's bed knowing Jay wouldn't be gone for long. He looked over her beautiful face and grabbed her hand. Tears rimmed his eyes, "Erin.. I am so sorry." He shuffled his feet and looked down, wiping a few tears that had slid down his face.

"I am so sorry I was not there for you, I should have never let this happen to you. You mean everything to me. Do you know how much you scared me when I saw you on that floor and when you were taken to surgery? I know you are so strong because heck I raised you." He smiled.

"I am going to be here for you, whatever you need. I lost Justin but I can't lose my other baby too. You gotta wake up, I need to see those brown eyes of yours." He leaned up and kissed her temple. When he was sitting back down , he heard the bathroom door being opened and saw Jay walking in.

"Sarge" Jay nodded his head at Voight, while pulling up a chair to the opposite side of the bed. Jay just watched Erin.

After a few minutes of silence Voight spoke up, "Jay I just wanted to say thank you, I know you did everything you could for her in there and I am so glad you did."

"Just did what I have always done sir, I Had her back" Jay said quietly.

"Look I know I haven't been the easiest on you or her about well you know, but she is going to need someone after what has happened. As much as I want that person to be me, I know she trusts and cares for you like crazy and well heck from what I just found out she loves you too." Voight cringed at the thought. "But I don't care anymore about what you guys are, I just need to know you will be there to help her through what is about to come."

Jay was shocked, he didn't know if he heard Voight's words right. He sat there for a moment taking it all in, "Of course sir she will always have me. Thank you."

As soon as Jay had finished thanking Voight, the glass door slid open again and a familiar red head entered the room. Jay got up immediately and moved to hug his brother Will. It was comforting to him to see his face. When Jay and Will were done, Voight stood and shook Will's hand.

"Will how is she?" Voight questioned, dying to know.

"Well she is holding up pretty well considered the stab wound punctured her lung which we had to repair. Besides that she had a lot of internal bleeding due to what I am guessing the bruises came from" Will lost eye contact with Voight as he knew it was still a touchy subject. " We stopped the bleeding and now we just have to wait. She will have a very hard time breathing when she is taken off of the ventilator when she can breathe on her own and she will be in a tremendous amount of pain for a week or so but she will make it. "

Those were the words that Jay and Voight needed to hear. It was like 10 pounds had been lifted off of there shoulders. Jay put his hand on his brothers shoulder, "Thank you Will".

"Of course, please let me know if she wakes up or if anything happens. I will be checking up on her as much as I can." With that Will grabbed some hand sanitizer and left Voight and Jay standing in front of Erin's bed.

Jay was watching Erin when he felt Voight's hands grab him and pull him into a hug. Jay was so shocked he didn't know what had happened at first and then he hugged Voight back. They were both so happy Erin was going to be okay.

While Jay and Voight had embraced each other, Erin began to stir slightly. It took her a while to open her eyes but she did, the lights were so bright but her eyes focused after a little bit, and that is when she saw Hank and Jay her two favorite men in the world hugging in front of her. She was so confused.

Jay heard some movement coming from the bed and looked up while hugging Voight. His heart almost leaped out of his chest when his eyes met the prettiest brown eyes he had ever seen.

"Erin?"

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I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! I tried to include a little bit of a flashback to inform you on what happened and how Erin got to the hospital. And for those of you who were asking for Voight and Erin scenes here is your first one! The next chapter will out super soon! thanks!


	6. I Love you too

Hey guys! I have been thinking about this story and I wanted to know if you want me to keep going and really draw the story out, or finish this one within a few chapters and start a new one! Let me know please! I hope you enjoy!

Also on a side note September is getting here so quickly and I don't know if I'm ready to see Jay without Erin on Chicago P.D. It is going to be so strange, am I the only one who is scared to see what will happen?

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"Erin?" Jay's eyes met Erin's soft brown ones.

He couldn't even help the tears that escaped from his eyes, he was so happy to see her awake. He left Voight's embrace and moved as fast as he could to her side. Meanwhile her eyes never left Jay's, she was frozen, she didn't know what to say. Jay went to reach for her hand and she flinched and pulled away. Jay was startled by her reaction, "Erin are you okay?".

All she could do was nod and she lifted her hand to his with an apologetic look in her eyes. Jay was concerned, she had never reacted like that before. With Erin waking up, he hadn't noticed that Voight had left the room to get his brother Will, and before he knew it both of them walked back into the room.

"Erin! You are awake! Well let's get that tube out of your throat, I bet you have lots of questions!" Will said cheerfully. He then made his way to her side and asked Jay to move to the other side of her. With that Jay held her other hand for support.

"Now this causes many people to gag, but just breathe deeply and I will do this as fast as I can." Will assured Erin and slowly began to pull the tube from her mouth. Tears immediately sprung to her eyes and the pain was a bit too much for what she had gone through and she squeezed Jay's hand hard. Jay couldn't even watch, he had dropped his eyes to the floor but never let go of her. He couldn't watch her be in anymore pain.

"And there you are, let me get you some water." Will removed the tube completely and brought a cup of water to Erin's beside. He tilted it for her in order for her to drink, she could barely move without having so much pain shoot through her body.

Once she had drank enough water she let out a raspy, "Thank you" and laid her head back down on her head. She was exhausted.

"What happened?" She questioned while looking from Will's eyes to her two favorite guys in the world.

"Well Erin as you know, you were badly beaten and you were stabbed in the abdomen and taken here. You crashed one time in the ambulance but managed to stay stable and have a safe surgery. You had internal bleeding as well as badly bruising to your bones. You got roughed up big time, but you were strong." Will proclaimed giving Erin a soft smile.

Erin sighed of relief and immediately regretted it feeling a shooting pain through her stomach, she flinched and her face showed so much pain.

"Yes I know you are in a lot of pain, we have given you pain medication but the nurses will come back later to give you something stronger to help, and hopefully get you some rest." Will looked at Jay and nodded. "I will let you catch up and talk with everyone and I will check on you later."

"Thank you Will." Erin gave a small smile appreciating everything Will had done. She dreaded what was about to come, she couldn't face Jay. She didn't want to, she was still so cold and numb to what had happened. She felt so helpless. She thought she was going to lose everything, and him being one of the most important people.

"Erin, are you okay?" Jay asked.

"I'm fine" Erin responded while trying to shift to a more comfortable position. She immediately let out a whimper and held her breath, she had never been in so much pain. She couldn't do anything without feeling pain. While shifting she noticed the cuts on her arms had healed and were scabs now, she looked down and couldn't even hold it in anymore. She let everything out, she couldn't even catch her breath she was crying so hard.

Jay reached out to her and wrapped his arms around her carefully, places kisses on her head to try and soothe her. She shook so violently, and she kept crying harder because the more she shook the more pain she was in.

Voight took in Erin and it broke his heart, he couldn't do anything to help her. He figured he would give her some time with Jay, she needed to be with him and take in the fact that she made it out alive. She was going to be alright but there was going to be a long road ahead of her before coming back to intelligence and he planned to be there every step of the way to help her as much as he could. With seeing Erin break down, he slipped out of the room giving her space and seated himself in the seats across the hall.

Meanwhile, Jay still held on to Erin and if it was up to him he never wanted to let go of her. He slowly began to draw small circles on her back and kept giving her kisses to her temple and head. She eventually calmed her crying until you could only hear sniffles. He didn't know what to say or do.

"I'm sorry", Erin said quietly.

"What? What are you apologizing for Erin?" Jay questioned , he was so confused as to what she felt sorry for.

"This was all my fault, I should have stayed near you. I should have been more aware of my surroundings. If I would have been careful we wouldn't have been taken and-" Erin let out a shaky breath as the tears started to form in her eyes again.

Jay sensed she was having a hard time, and stroked her hand gently and turned her face towards his. With being inches away from each other, he stared so deeply into her eyes letting her know she was safe and he was there and that he meant what he was about to say, "Hey hey hey, Erin shhh, you have nothing to apologize for. This is not your fault and you should not blame yourself. I mean look at you, if anyone should apologize it should be me, if I had been with you, you wouldn't be here in this hospital." Jay had to take a second to keep his emotions in line. "Do you know how scared I was? I thought that I was going to loose you, and I couldn't bare it. When you were stabbed it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. I couldn't lose you because, I love you Erin."

Erin's eyes widened remembering what was said in the basement before she blacked out. Did she really say what she think she said, and Jay confessed his love to her? And what made her heart race even more was that Voight witnessed it all.

Seeing Erin's reaction, Jay knew exactly what she was thinking about. "He is okay with us."Jay said.

"What? You mean?" Erin responded pointing at herself and then Jay.

"Yes Erin" Jay chuckled at the surprise in her eyes.

Erin couldn't believe what she just heard. Voight had said yes to having an in house relationship after all this time. She knew she was going to have to be patient these next few weeks as she was going to be in a lot of pain, but it was all worth it. She could be with Jay , and now she could be truly happy because they didn't have to hide her feelings anymore. Even though the dark thoughts still ran through her mind playing what happened in the basement over and over, she let a smile display on her face. This news is exactly what she needed to hear right now.

She slowly lifted her hand to Jay's face, taking in Jay's small smile of his own. She quickly closed the space between them and let her lips meet his. It was so passionate yet so gentle, it was her letting him know that she was there and with him and to say thank you. Once they parted to catch their breath, Erin leaned her forehead to Jay's taking in what had happened. It was all quiet except their breathing, then the silence was broken.

"I love you too"

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So Jay and Erin finally get reunited in a happier environment and they get to say their I love you's while both being safe and alive. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I really wanted to focus on the details and get the important interaction of Jay and Erin in. Please let me know how you like it, I plan to upload another chapter very soon as I really enjoy writing this story for you guys. Thank you sooooo much! Please leave reviews I'd love to hear from you.


	7. Home Sweet Home?

Hey guys! Don't worry I wasn't gonna leave you hanging to long with how my last chapter ended haha! I hope you enjoy this new chapter, please let me know how you like it!

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"Alright kiddo, you got everything? I already signed the papers." Voight asked Erin while lifting her bag of clothes on the bed.

"Yeah think so." Erin responded with a sigh and swung her feet over the edge of the bed. She slowly lifted her herself up but as soon as she went to take a step she lost her balance and fell back to the bed wincing with pain.

"Hey easy Erin, you heard what the doctor said the healing process will take some time, you are still in bad shape. Don't rush it." Voight picked up her bag and moved to put his arm around her waist gently to help her walk out of her hospital room.

It had been a week since Erin had been stabbed and the bruises believe it or not had gotten darker and the soreness Erin felt was inexplainable. Jay had been there overtime she woke up crying in pain or to help her go to the bathroom. He was there everyday, afraid to leave her side. Eventually Will mentioned she was good to go home but she was on mandatory bed rest for two weeks. Voight had taken this as the opportunity to talk to Erin and take her home, they hadn't barely talked at all since the accident.

The walk to the car was silent except the small noises of pain escaping Erin's mouth. Once she was settled and buckled, Voight hopped in the drivers side and took off. Erin was so happy to leave the hospital, she hated being there because it brought back so many bad memories. Just smelling the fresh air and seeing her beautiful city again filled her eyes with excitement. She kept her eyes out of her window like a little kid seeing Chicago for the first time.

"You were stuck in there for a week," Voight chuckled seeing how happy she was to be out. His face then softened and his glance became a little more serious as they pulled into her apartment complex. Once he stopped the car he grabbed her hand, looking right into her eyes which still hadn't looked as bright as they normally did since the kidnapping.

"Erin I... I am just so glad you are okay. Seeing you bleeding out in that basement was one of the worst things I have witnessed in my life and I've seen a lot." His eyes glazed over with tears as he remembered the image, all the while Erin had many tears running down her face. " I have lost so many people in my life and I almost thought I was going to lose you. You are my life Erin and I am just so glad you are here safe and sound, with a little bit of a beating" Voight chuckled and Erin smiled," but you are here and that is all that matters."

Erin's heart had burst at seeing how vulnerable Voight had just gotten with her, all she could do was throw her arms around him and just stay in his arms. The arms that held her at her lowest points made her feel so safe now, "I love you." Voight smiled as Erin hugged him even tighter, "I love you too kiddo, you should be proud of how strong you have become."

After Voight and Erin had finally had their chance to talk, he helped her out of the car and up to her apartment where Jay waited for her. Voight had sent him to get groceries and tidy up a bit so her apartment was ready for her to come home to. Once she was settled she said her goodbye to Voight and that she would call him soon. She was so tired , she couldn't wait to just jump in bed. As she was shutting the front door she immediately felt warm strong arms wrap around her and soon enough Jay's head was leaned onto her shoulder.

"Hi" Jay said.

"Hi back" Erin responded turning her head so she could give him a small welcoming kiss.

"So don't hate me but I think we should get you in the shower first before you go running to bed" Jay said while making a puppy dog face. Erin couldn't do anything but laugh, she agreed. If she didn't shower now she wouldn't ever want to. So with that she let Jay pull her to her bedroom.

"Here let me help you with that," Jay offered seeing Erin struggle and wince in pain trying to take off her shirt. He made sure she was okay with it before he went to lift it up and off of her. He saw how much pain it caused her to lift her arms so he decided to move her to the bed to sit down. Once she was sitting Jay could really take in her stomach and just how badly bruised it was.

Erin saw him looking and cast her gaze down, she knew how bad it looked and she could definitely feel it too. She wanted the bruises to just go away because they were reminders of what happened. And Jay seeing her reaction, he kneeled down in front of her and put his hands gently onto her thighs. "You are beautiful" Jay said looking up to her. Within a couple seconds he had her laid down on her back, "Each and every single bruise shows just how beautiful and strong you are." And with that he leaned over her and traced light lines over her stomach really scanning her darkened skin. He slowly leaned down and began to kiss every single one making sure it didn't cause any pain for Erin. By kissing every single one he slowly made his way up to her neck where he then lifted his head so he could look into her eyes. Erin couldn't even explain how grateful she felt that Jay was here with her and how amazing he was , she reached up and grabbed his head bringing it to hers and deeply kissed him.

After Jay had had helped Erin get ready for the shower, which took a bit longer then expected due to Jay wanting to help Erin get past her bruises. She got in and let the warm water hit her skin which instantly helped relieve some of the pain, she stayed in until the water got cold and wrapped herself up with her towel before going to her bedroom. When she opened the door Jay wasn't there but a smell of spaghetti hit her nose and she smiled instantly knowing where he was.

She knew she had to throw some sort of clothes on even though she didn't want anything touching her tender skin, and what caught her eye was Jay's packed bag in the corner of her room. She knew he wouldn't mind so she ran over and snagged one of his t-shirts and threw it on automatically getting a whiff of his cologne and detergent and knew she had made the right choice.

Jay was setting down two bowls of pasta at the table when he saw Erin come out of her room from the corner of his eye. When he looked and took in what she was wearing he couldn't even try and hide his smile, it was the biggest goofiest smile but man did she look good in his shirt. She slowly made her way to the kitchen, thanking him for making dinner and him teasing her about how stealing isn't nice. They enjoyed the food and their company, Erin was so hungry and sick of hospital food so she was in heaven.

After dinner Erin helped Jay wash the dishes until he demanded she go lay down on the couch until he finished and without even putting up a fight she went and laid down. She was exhausted and the dark circles under her eyes showed it. After she turned on the tv and found reruns of friends she got comfy and started to drift off.

Jay had walked in and saw how she was asleep and decided not to bother her so he sat and the other side of the couch enjoying friends on the tv. Eventually Jay had fallen asleep without realizing and it had been a few hours since dinner when Erin started thrashing around in her sleep and yelling "No! No please". She was sobbing and screaming, Jay had been startled and woke up seeing her throw herself around and how her face was tear stained. He immediately reached over and shook her awake, "Erin hey Erin, it's me! Shh baby it's me."

Slowly Erin realized what was happening and she opened her eyes and sat up. She was out of breath and she met Jay's eyes which looked scared to death. "I was back in the basement and I-" She closed her eyes as she let a few more tears fall. "Zilinsky was there and I was tied up and " And then Erin lost it, she sobbed and sobbed. Jay couldn't stand to see her like this, "Come here" he told her and Erin shifted her was to his side and laid her hand on his chest feeling his warmth. Jay wrapped his arms around her and began to draw small circles on her back to calm her. After she had finally calmed down, Jay heard Erin's breathing slow down and he knew she was asleep. He placed a kiss to Erin's head and dug his phone out of his back Jean pocket. He dialed Voight and waited till he heard Voight's voice on the other side of the line.

"This is a lot worse then we thought"

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I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, I have many things planned for Erin and Jay in the future but I gotta take it one step at a time. So as you know school is coming up soon so I may not be able to update as frequently as I have been but don't worry I will try to get a new chapter out every single week for you! Please let me know how you liked this chapter and what you would like to see for Jay and Erin! Thanks!


	8. First Night

Hi guys so I thought I would post another chapter before school starts Monday maybe even two because I have been in such a writing mood lately! I am trying to make my chapters longer for you, that is what a lot of you were asking for! So I am trying my best! I hope you enjoy this chapter and for those of you starting school or just going to work, I wish you well and hope you have a great day!

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"I use to have nightmares back before Hank took me in.. they were always about me trying to escape but I never could." Erin said while sitting on the comfy leather couch in ' office.

"Escape? Escape from what exactly?" asked examining Erin's face and body language.

"Um nothing specifically it was me trying to escape from my life hah, yeah I was a mess. I was always scrambling for money and whenever I got some for maybe some food for dinner, Bunny would find it and take it for God knows what." Erin sank back further into the couch thinking back. " I can't even remember everything from when I was younger some days I just blacked out and then I carried on like it was nothing. That was until I called Hank after being fed up."

"So Hank took you into his home and you became a part of his family?" inquired.

"Yeah, Camille and Justin. They were great, I knew they were worried and suspicious at first but I knew that I had to get myself together because that was where I was meant to be. I miss them." Erin dropped her gaze playing with a loose thread from her shirt.

"So why are these nightmares coming back now? What caused you to be afraid like you were when you were little?" pushed for answers.

"If I am being honest, besides being terrified of what uh he would do next to me, it was the fact that I could die and I wouldn't get to say goodbye." Erin let a tear escape but quickly brushed it away. "I don't know, just the fact that I have so much left to do in the world and it felt like I was back in the hole in the wall house I grew up in. It was like I was being suffocated."

"But you are here now, and yet these nightmares still occur after you talked and were reunited with Hank. I also heard things are very well with Jay am I correct? New uh boyfriend?" said trying to get a chuckle out of Erin.

"Hah yes Jay is great, Hank finally gave us his blessing and I don't think I would be here or healing as fast as I am without him. I think I was scared to not get the chance to say goodbye and to never get to really tell him how I felt." Erin looked up and felt relief as she finally let out what she had been holding back.

"Well you have him by your side now, why not tell him everything you have been feeling? I feel like we have made some major progress today and I would like to continue, I think you are close to ready but not just yet. I would say another two sessions, is that okay?"

"Yeah sure, I just want to be cleared." Erin responded with her eyes yearning to go back to work.

"Understandable Erin but sometimes our emotions and mind needs to heal too. I will see you soon. Nice talking to you today." stood up and gave Erin a hug, he then opened the door and watched her slowly walk to the exit.

It had been three weeks since the incident and every night she had woken startled by a new nightmare taking her by surprise. She was physically ready for work but Voight wouldn't let her come to the precinct without a clearing from .

Erin made her way to the front office of the hospital finding Jay sitting in the waiting room reading a magazine. She smiled, she felt so beyond lucky and she knew was right she needed to open up to him and tell him what she was having trouble with. She owed to him, for the past three weeks he had gotten barely any sleep with Erin constantly waking screaming and shrieking at the top of her lungs. Even though she knew he was exhausted he still stayed up and tried to soothe her everytime, always moving her to his body where he could hold her and make her feel safe. Jay hadn't dared leave her alone for one night, afraid of what might happen if she woke up alone and he wanted to be with her.

Erin slowly made her way up to Jay , "Hey there."

"Well hello, have I met you before? You look like this gorgeous girl I love." Jay joked with her, causing her to giggle. Jay just smiled because he rarely got to see her giggle and smile like that with everything that had happened.

"You hungry? Because let me tell you, reading a food magazine was not a smart decision on my part." Jay asked Erin already knowing the answer. She just looked at him and gave him a quick kiss and grabbed his hand and led him out of the hospital doors.

They decided to pick up some food from Erin's favorite fast food restaurant and bring it home.

While chowing down on burgers and fries Erin knew she wanted to talk to Jay and tell him everything she had been feeling and she knew she had to do it now. She put down her burger and picked at her fries while clearing her throat.

"Jay uh can I talk to you?" Erin questioned. Jay was going to joke but he saw that she was serious so he nodded and added an "of course"while laying his hand on her thigh for comfort.

" I Just want to say I am sorry for everything these past few weeks, I know it hasn't been easy but I want you to know how much it means to me you have been there for me." Erin looked at him giving him a faint smile and Jay smiled in return ready to hear her out. "So as you know I have been going to see and as much as I hate to say it he has been helping out a lot. Today we uh touched base on why I have been having my nightmares and I thought you should know why." Erin then took deep breath preparing herself to open up to him and grabbing his other hand.

Jay was surprised at her words, he couldn't believe she was about to open up and let him in. He had been trying to get her to talk to him for the past few weeks and she would just snap at him not meaning to hurt him and stop the conversation. He was so ready.

" This isn't the first time I have had nightmares like this before, I had them a lot when I was a little kid living with Bunny. It was really rough for me back then, I was into drugs and partying and well I would do anything for money. I was a mess and a screw up, but everything was even worse because I was controlled by Bunny. I would get slapped by her countless boyfriends and I wouldn't remember days at times because of the things they would have me do. I was trapped and it felt like I couldn't do anything until I contacted Hank and well you know about that. " Erin took a sip of her soda and then immediately intertwined her hand back with Jays needing his touch. "When I started having the nightmares again it was the same one that I had when I was little, I have no control in the dream and I am scared out of mind. I found out that it had a lot to do with you." Erin then looked at Jay reading his expression but nothing had changed and he was intently listening.

" I guess I have been holding my fear in of not telling you how I feel exactly about you. When I was in that basement I was first of all scared for you but I was scared I wasn't going to be able to have a life with you. This may be cheesy but it would be so perfect and I would picture it all the time. Everytime we would go to Molly's or to your place for a game I so badly wanted to tell you how I felt about you but I always had Hank's words hanging above me but it's not now... Jay I am completely in love with you and I know we just got together but being best friends and partners for as long as were were it feels like I have been with you this entire time. You are just breath taking and amazing in every way possible. You know how to cheer me up and make feel the happiest I have in a long time and I want you to know how much I appreciate you. I see the perfect house and our perfect kids and our perfect life together. I want that with you, I want all of it with you." Erin finally finished, feeling so amazing that she shared her fear with Jay and looked at him with so much passion.

It took Jay a second to comprehend what he had just heard, he just kept looking at her with a blank expression until a wide smile spread across his face and he couldn't stay away from her any longer. He reached across to her and grabbed her putting her on his lap and kissed her so passionately and never like before.

When he finally ran out of breath he separated his lips from hers and looked at his beautiful girlfriend sitting on his lap. "Thank you for sharing that with me, I know it wasn't easy for you but I appreciate it. I never knew that you feared not sharing that with me but hey I know how you feel you don't need to worry about me. I love you too, we are in the same boat here. The house, the kids, the perfect life, I see it all with you too and I can't wait to start it. Erin you are my world." Jay exclaimed never dropping his smile.

This was all Erin needed to hear and the sparkle that left her eyes after the accident came back and she moved and kissed Jay. The kissed heated up fast and soon enough Jay was carrying her to her bedroom and laid her on her bed. He still had to be very careful with her, although she was healed and feeling better she was still sore.

Jay showed her how much he loved her and they laid in her bed taking in their favorite part of the day together. Erin laid across Jay's chest and Jay's arms wrapped around hers while running his fingers through her hair always placing kisses to her head.

"Mhmm this is so nice." Erin said.

"It is isn't it." Jay responded.

"I never want to have to miss this." Erin spoke again noticing Jay turn towards her with a questioning look.

"Wha-" Jay was cut off by Erin.

"Move in with me, I mean you basically have these past few weeks. We can just pack the rest of your things up and bring them here. I don't ever want to go to bed without you." Erin finally proclaimed.

This was music to Jay's ears, he thought he was going to have to be the one that mentioned moving someday, but to see Erin do it, it made him so happy.

"I would love to." Jay whispered into her ear. And with that Erin and Jay slowly fell asleep in each others arms feeling the happiest they had felt in a long time.

That night was the first night Erin had no nightmares.

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So I know it was a bit fluffy but I feel like it was necessary for them to talk to each other. I will hopefully have another chapter up tomorrow for you guys, I really want to write as much as I can for you! Please let me know how you like it and if any of you have a suggestion as to what dramatic thing should happen to them next please let me know? Maybe another damsel in distress scene for Erin or maybe something happens to Jay please let me know! Thanks!


	9. First for Everything

Hey guys I am back! I know it has been a while and I am so sorry, I have been adjusting to school and so I was trying to figure out when I would be able to have time to sit down and write and so I am thinking probably Saturdays or Sundays will be the days and I will try to do it every weekend. I was really excited about this chapter because I wanted to bring in more suspense. I hope you like it!

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The loud constant beeping woke Erin up and she moved to hit the snooze button as fast as she could for being half asleep. When she turned over to reach for Jay's warm embrace she was met with cold sheets and his side of the bed empty. She frowned wanting to stay in bed just a little bit longer with Jay before her first day back at work. She was so excited to be going back to the precinct, she was finally beginning to feel like herself again.

She rolled over and laid flat on her back and sighed, she could smell coffee and she started to smile knowing exactly where Jay was. Reluctantly she got out of bed and threw on one of Jay's shirts and walked in between all of Jay's boxes stacked in her room. Jay had moved out of his apartment officially and they had been unpacking all week long to try and get him settled in. Even though they got distracted quite a lot while unpacking they were making a lot of progress.

Once Erin left her room and entered the living room she saw Jay sitting on her couch drinking coffee and watching the news, she walked quietly towards him and plopped down beside him bringing her knees into her chest.

"Oh wow look who is up! I thought I was going to have to go to work by myself again this morning" Jay joked.

"Oh please, you should be the one feeling guilty, you let me wake up by myself" Erin said while giving him sad puppy dog eyes. Jay couldn't handle it so he set his coffee down and there himself on top of her making her giggle and he began tickling her until she was begging for him to stop.

"Okay okay please stop, Jay I can't breathe" Erin said exasperated from laughing so hard. Jay stayed propped up above her and smiled moving a strand of her hair out of her face. He couldn't believe how lucky he was, he had officially moved in with Erin and now he had his partner back at work, he was so happy.

"What?" Erin said smiling back at him wondering why he was looking at her so intensely.

"Nothing, I am just happy that's all" Jay said quietly and leaned down to kiss her softly. After the tickle war and breakfast they headed out to work, both of them feeling so happy and everyone could tell. When they both walked upstairs the hoops and hollers began, everyone was so glad Erin was back. Ruzek and Atwater ran towards her picking her up and hugging her as tight as they could making her laugh and beg for them to put her down. While Al walked up giving her a gentle hug and a smile, and Antonio followed "We missed you kid, it's good to have you back." Erin was so overwhelmed with emotions she had to try and keep herself together, that was until Hank embraced her and she let a few tears slip. This was her family and she had missed them so much she was so grateful to be back.

Once everyone had settled Voight stood to talk about the new case and Erin was all ears, listening intently so she could jump back into the job she loved so much. Once everyone had been informed on what they needed to do they went to suit up and get ready. They were going in for a major drug bust on the outskirts of Chicago, nothing to dangerous but they still had to be precautious.

"Alright I want Ruzek and Atwater to take the west side, Al and Antonio take the front with me, and Erin and Halstead you two take the back" Voight barked but eyed Erin. Erin could feel his gaze on her so she decided to hang back a bit while the others went to get ready. "Hey, are you okay?" Asked Erin wondering what his look what about. "I am okay, but are you?" Voight asked.

Being taken back by his question her gaze dropped to the floor, "Why wouldn't I be?" and with that she met his eyes with determination.

Looking into her eyes and trying to read her Voight finally backed down, "Alright kid just making sure" and with that he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead and walked off to get ready.

Once everyone was geared up , everyone jumped into their cars and headed out to the warehouse. The car ride was filled with small talk between Jay and Erin since they had spent almost everyday with each other they did not have much to update each other on. When everyone had arrived, bought signaled them and everyone moved into there positions, when they had the go everyone kicked in the doors and began clearing rooms. Immediately Ruzek and Antonio went upstairs and Voight held the front while they checked out the cars parked in the front. Erin and Jay entered through the back, the warehouse was dark and damp and most of the windows were covered so they were having a hard time seeing with just their flashlights. They would hear the occasional "Clear" from upstairs while they were yelling it themselves.

"I'll check the three rooms by the staircase" ,Erin told Jay and Jay nodded knowing he was within a few feet of her and could get to her fast if she needed help.

Erin was entering the second room which was closest to the stairs, she walked in and the room was filled with dusty furniture some covered in sheets. It smelled terrible but Erin entered and was looking around when she heard a familiar clicking sound, she slowly turned around and was met with a gun to her head.

"Okay okay" Erin put her hands up, while she couldn't see what the man looked like she could hear his heavy breathing. She stood still afraid to move or say anything hoping Jay would come around the corner, when the human took off running and she followed. He quickly went towards the stairs turning as he went up and Erin caught a glance of his face and she was frozen holding her gun. She couldn't move from where she was standing at the base of the stairs as the gunman ran up the rest of the stairs out of her sight, Erin lowered her gun while her hands were shaking badly.

Jay rounded the corner noticing her shaking and frozen, "Er hey, are you okay? What happened?" Jay grabbed her and checked her vest. "Erin hey!" Jay was concerned , she wasn't answering him. He grabbed her face so he could see her eyes, "Babe". When she met his eyes his heart sunk, she looked so scared, "He looked just like him, he looked just like him".

Jay knew right then and there what happened, she saw the gunman's face and she thought she saw Zilinsky, he immediately pulled her in for a hug. He could feel her trembling in his arms and he decided it was best that they get out of the warehouse. "Voight the gunman is upstairs we gotta get outside" Jay spoke into his radio.

Jay opened the door for Erin and got her outside, they walked in silence to their car seeing Al, Antonio, and Voight. Voight nodded towards Jay knowing exactly what happened and that Jay would fill him in later, "Go home, Ruzek and Atwater have him and they found the drugs we got it covered."

"Got it" Jay responded putting his hand on Erin's back addled her to the car and opened the door for her to get in. The car ride was quiet and Erin jut looked out of the window feeling Jay looking at her occasionally. She was okay, she was just startled and she thought she saw the man's face who almost killed her. It took her back to all the pain she felt, she now realized that maybe she shouldn't have been so confident and so fas to rush back into a case and that she needed to take it slower. She again felt Jay's eyes on her and knew he was worrying but didn't want to overstep his boundaries so she reached over and took his hand. It was something small but she wanted to let him know she was okay, and she knew it had worked when she heard a sigh of relief leave his mouth.

When they finally pulled into their apartment parking lot, Jay turned the car off and waited for Erin to open her door but she didn't move. She finally turned and looked at him, "I'm sorry, I am okay".

"What are you apologizing for, I am sorry that I wasn't there. I hate seeing you like this and knowing there is nothing I can do about it" Jay explained. "It hurts that I can't help you."

"Jay no, you have no idea but you are the one that has gotten me through everything, if you weren't here I would crumple. I just got these flashbacks tonight, I could have sworn I saw him and it just took me off guard that's all. I shouldn't have been so fast to jump into a case. I just felt like I was missing out and I missed my family you know?" Erin said.

"Well hey, I am here for you at all times, and yes we missed you but we want you to feel safe and like yourself again", Jay looked into her eyes and leaned in for a small soft kiss. "I Love you."

"I love you too", Erin responded with a slight flutter in her heart, he just made her so happy.

"Well hey speaking of our family and how much they have missed you, they are missing you at Molly's right now, you want to swing by? We don't have to go for long and just say the word and we will head straight home." Jay smiled an eager smile.

"Well I mean how can I say no?" Erin giggled pecking Jay on the lips. "Let's go."

They soon arrived at Molly's and walked hand and hand inside seeing their whole family sitting at a table in the back, they all got up to give hugs and Erin knew right then and there that wherever her family was , was where she wanted to be too.

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I hope you liked this chapter, please leave a review letting me know how you liked it! I am taking it slow so I can plan bigger things for Jay and Erin. I really want to throw in a twist but I don't know exactly where I want to take it! You let me know! A baby? Marriage? Please leave reviews letting me know because your thoughts really help out and matter! Thanks guys!


	10. Surprise

Hi guys! So it Tok me a long time to finally decide where I wanted this story to go but I got a good review and I hope you like where I take it in this chapter! Sorry for such a late post I know it has been a while since I have posted but don't worry I won't ever leave this story hanging!

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It had been a few weeks since Erin had gotten back into her work, and now everything was running smoothly. Erin hadn't felt this happy in a long time. She was closer the ever to everyone in her unit and she was just head over heels for Jay.

The team had tried to make Friday nights for Molly's and it was great to see everyone show up from Med and fire, it was like having the whole gang there. Even though after her first incident on the job since being hurt and the kidnapping she has leaned on her team so much and the support they had showed was incredible. She had especially grown close to Burgess as they were the only two women in the unit they bonded over common girly things and now Erin had a best friend to spill details about Jay with.

"Yeah it was great so romantic, the rose petals, the champagne, him" Erin said to a smiling Burgess. Erin and Jay's one month had passed and Jay felt the need to celebrate after the experience they had gone through together so they could celebrate being as strong of a couple as they are.

"Oh stop it! That sounds amazing, I am so jealous! We were all rooting for you and Jay and now that it has happened we can not get enough around here!" Burgess replied and hugged her.

"Haha well what can I say besides the fact that I am the luckiest girl ever" Erin said as her eyes met Jay's from across the room. They were out at Molly's and Jay was talking to Severide and Casey while enjoying a cold beer and watching the game. When their eyes met he gave her a smirk that had her blushing and he could tell from all the way across the room. Jay slowly made his way over to her and Burgess.

"Sorry to interrupt but uh we should get going, you have an appointment tomorrow and I am working an extra shift in the morning." He leaned down and gave Erin a peck.

"Okay yeah yeah you are right, well see you tomorrow!" Erin stood and gave Burgess a hug and walked out of Molly's waving to everyone goodbye with Jay's are wrapped around her waist.

The next morning Erin woke up and could feel Jay's arm around her waist and she turned to look at Jay sleeping. Sh just couldn't imagine her life without him and she wondered how she did it so long. Eventually she got cold and decided to scoot into his side where Jay without even waking up wrapped her in his arms even tighter, Erin would try and fall back asleep until their alarm.

When their alarm went off Erin decided to give Jay some more time to sleep since he had been working so hard and taking extra shifts for the extra cash, she had been wanting to know why but never bothered to ask. So she decided to hop in the shower and get ready for the day, throwing on a little bit of makeup and wearing a comfy pair of jeans and a cute t-shirt. When she came back out Jay was already dressed and sitting on their bed putting on his shoes.

"So am I going to be seeing you for lunch today?" Jay questioned.

"Oh yes it is just another check up they want to look at my vitals and my scar and see how everything is going. Voight is making me go, you know how he is with that stuff" Erin said as she rolled her eyes and plopped herself down in his lap and throwing her arms around him.

"Yeah I know, but I just hate the fact that you aren't going to be sitting across from me this morning but it's okay as long as I see your beautiful face at lunch. I don't think I will cry too much." Jay said getting a chuckle out of Erin before he placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Isn't your appointment soon? You don't want to be late."

And with that Erin got up and kissed Jay goodbye and grabbed her stuff and headed out to her appointment, and Jay followed her shortly after for his early shift.

When Erin entered the hospital she walked to the front desk to sign in for her appointment and sat down to wait in the waiting area. Her phone vibrated and she looked at a text from Jay, _I already miss you :(._ She couldn't do anything but smile and before she could respond her name was called and she headed back to a small white room which she had seen many times before and sat down on the long cushioned chair. Not before long, Will walked in.

"Erin hey! So good to see you! How have you been feeling? Any pain or dizziness at all?" Erin shook her head no after giving him a hug. "Okay well you know the usual, blood tests and I will have a nurse come by to check out that scar and I will be back soon." Will said and then left.

A nurse soon entered and began to take Erin's blood which she use to be uneasy about but after everything that had happened it didn't really bother her anymore. After that the nurse lifted her shirt to examine her scar and pressed on any areas that might be tender and Erin was cleared like normal.

After all her tests she was still sitting on the chair when she noticed it had been a while since Will was last in there and she began to worry something was wrong. She felt fine and nothing weird had been happening, was something wrong that Erin didn't know about? And before she could continue to worry, she saw Will walking towards her room through the clear glass of the door.

"There you are, you had me worried for a sec!" Erin said with a little laugh but the laugh died off when she saw Will's face. "Will what's wrong?"

"Uh nothing really, we got your blood results back and I am just a bit surprised that is all." Will said looking at the paperwork in front of him. "Erin you're pregnant."

She was what? How could that be possible? She was on birth control, she had been on the pill for years now. He couldn't have said what she thought he just said. No he has to be joking. "I um, no no no that can't be right. I have been on birth control for years now. I take the pill everyday."

"Well looking back at your records some of the pain medication and antibiotics that were administered to you could have counter reacted with the birth control and it could have been a while since its been working." Will said taking Erin's hand. " But hey Erin you are the strongest person I know, you and Jay can handle this. It is a surprise but a good surprise right?"

Erin couldn't even say anything she just held onto Will's hand for as long as she needed, she was so thankful he was there for her. When she had finally come to her sense she mumbled out quietly asking Will how far along she was.

"Well looking at your data you look to be 3-4 weeks along, I am surprised you haven't noticed any symptoms yet. But Erin I do have to talk to you about something important, with the injuries that occurred to your abdomen there could be some problems throughout the pregnancy. When trauma has happened like that to the body especially in lower region of your body, we will have to look at this pregnancy really closely. I know it is really early on but I just want to let you know now and you can fill in Jay."

Erin just shook her head, "I should get going. Thank you Will" and with that she gave him a quick hug and quickly walked out of the hospital and to her car. When she got inside she couldn't hold it in any longer and cried. She felt like she had 100 pounds weighing her down and all she wanted to do was cry. How could she have a baby? She wasn't ready for that and her and Jay just started settling down and enjoying life together. What would she do about work? A thousand questions and problems ran through her head as she sat in her car before she realized she was supposed to meet Jay for lunch at the precinct.

She knew she wouldn't be able to handle seeing him right now so she headed home to try and wrap her head around things.

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Jay was getting worried, she wasn't answering his phone calls or his texts.

 _Hey how did the appointment go?_

 _Babe?_

 _You coming for lunch I got us Chinese!_

 _Erin pick up please, you are worrying me._

It was almost time to go home now and he hadn't heard from her all day or seen her all day and so he decided to go ask Voight. He lightly knocked and Voight motioned him to come in.

"What's up Halstead?" Voight asked with curiosity in his eyes.

"Hi Sarge uh I don't mean to bother you but as you know Erin had one of her follow up appointments today and she was supposed to be back by lunch. I've been texting her and calling and I can't get ahold of her." Jay could see Hank shaking his head.

"She called me and asked for the rest of the day off , said something about groceries and something special. Look's like you don't need to worry too much."

With that Jay let out a big breath he didn't even realize he was holding and thanked Voight and headed out to finish his paperwork. Once he was done everyone was headed out for the day so he said his goodbyes and headed home. When he pulled up he saw Erin's car and ran up the stairs to unlock their front door.

When he walked in he could smell something amazing coming from the kitchen, an decided to follow the smell and that is where he saw Erin cooking away. He leaned on the wall and watched her, he hips moving with every stir and he couldn't contain himself anymore and walked dup from behind and grabbed her waist.

"Ah Jay o my gosh you scared me! Don't do that again!" Erin said with surprise.

"Sorry babe I smelt something so delicious and wound up here looking at you, the most delicious thing of all." Jay said while placing a kiss on her temple. "You had me worried, I was calling and texting you all day."

"Oh I am sorry I put it on silent at my appointment and I was just busy trying to make this for you today." Erin said while trying to seem normal and calm when in reality if Jay was holding her she would be shaking from nervousness.

"Oh that's alright I figured I would tell you my surprise in person. But how was your appointment?" Jay asked while receiving a sample of the soup Erin was making. It was tomato , his favorite.

"It was fine, I actually have something to tell you too but you go first, I want to hear about your surprise!" Erin said with excitement trying to cove up her nerves.

"Well you know all those extra shifts I have been picking up? I thought it would be nice for us to take a trip, and more importantly a trip to the beach. We both have a ton of vacation days so why not use them up together? So I already talked to Voight about it and we are cleared to go! What do you think?" Jay said with excitement and Erin turned around to look at him. As he was waiting to see the excitement in her eyes, he noticed he saw more worry.

Before he could even ask what was wrong Erin answered him.

"I'm pregnant."

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Okay so now you know where I have decided to take the story please let me know what you think! I love your reviews because they help me out a lot and give me new ideas so leave as many as you would like! I need all the instead and fluffy stuff I can right now because the season premiere nearly shattered my heart! I hope you guys enjoyed and I will be posting soon!


	11. The Good Before the Bad

Hey guys I loved all the feedback from my last chapter! I am so excited to continue writing the pregnancy! Chicago P.D's new episodes from season 5 are killing me right now without seeing linstead so I am thriving through my story and other stories! Please feel free to share your own stories with me I would love to read them!

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"I'm pregnant."

Jay's face was unreadable, his eyes were searching mine and I just stood still. I felt like I couldn't move but if I did he would shatter. There was complete silence between us, maybe this wasn't what he wanted maybe I just ruined everything by telling him.

"Jay plea-"

"How did you find out?" Jay asked still with a unreadable expression.

"My appointment this morning, Will told me. They ran some of my blood samples and yeah I was surprised. Look I know this isn't what we were planning and it is so soon in our relationship so I can understand you not being happy. I am so so-"

Jay immediately walked forward and slammed his lips into Erin's , their was so much love and passion that Erin's legs almost went weak. Once the moment had passed, Jay looked into Erin's eyes and all she could see was love. "I am so happy Erin, yes this isn't what we expected or planned but it is a great surprise and I love you and I want you to know I am with you every step of the way," Jay moved his hand to her belly, "and I will love this baby too."

Erin couldn't even hold back the tears anymore, she let them fall and placed her hand on top of Jay's. She didn't think it was possible to love Jay even more but man she really did.

"Wait so you were saying about us taking a trip? That is so sweet but do you think it's the best time to be going right now?" Erin asked with her eyes still filled with tears from her overwhelming feeling of emotion, hormones already?

"I think right now is the best time Erin, I mean think about it we are having a baby I think we need some time to just get away and enjoy this ourselves! We can go and just relax a bit, but if you don't want to I completely understand." Jay said with his smile lowering to a more serious look.

Erin couldn't stand him being sad and she actually wouldn't mind going to the beach she had only been once and she didn't get to spend a lot of time there.

"Sure why not." Erin said watching the biggest grin spread over Jay's face. Jay picked her up and took her to the couch while simultaneously causing her to be in a fit of giggles from him tickling her. He laid her down and kissed her and leaned back to look at her.

"What?" Erin said still trying to catch her breath from laughing so much.

"I love you that's all." Jay said shaking his head at disbelief that he is so lucky to have Erin in his life.

"I love you too."

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"Bathing suit, sunblock, towels, am I missing anything?" Erin turned to look at Jay who was hoisting their bags into the back of their car. They decided they wanted to go as soon as possible, so with one call to Voight they were free to go and enjoy themselves at the beach. It was a long drive but they would make the most of it and enjoy some quality time with each other.

Once they had gotten everything ready to go they set off driving and of course Erin had to drive, but Jay made sure that they would be taking turns. They started just talking about work and the upcoming annual gala the 21st district would be attending. Just catching up with each other.

After some silence and enjoying some music, Jay asked "Do you think it will be a girl or a boy?" and he laid his hand down on her thigh. Erin turned and smiled they hadn't really thought about it much. "Hmm I don't know, I would love to eventually have both a boy and a girl. I use to draw what my family would look like when I was younger and I could always picture having two kids."

With that Jay turned to Erin in shock, he had never heard her ever talk about having a family or the fact that she wanted kids. He always felt the need to keep his desires and what he wanted in the future to himself, he didn't think Erin was ready to talk about that kinda stuff but he was wrong.

"What? Look I know I haven't ever really talked about it before but yes I think about that kind of stuff too. And this may sound cheesy but I never started thinking about it till I met you." Erin responded trying not to make eye contact with Jay and just focusing on the road. Jay went silent for a while, and the she felt his grip on her thigh tighten and when she looked over she could see how emotional he had gotten and decided to just to enjoy the rest of the car ride with him. She turned on some music and kept driving.

They eventually arrived at the beach house Jay had found online. It was an air bnb that was for a decent price, once they arrived they unloaded and headed up the stairs. Jay made sure that Erin had all of the light bags, him already being protective over her made Erin smile. When they finally unlocked the door, the inside took them by surprise. The beach house was furnished with the most lavish furniture and decor. The wall opposite of the door was completely made of glass giving a perfect few of the ocean. The refrigerator was stocked with food and beverages it was absolutely perfect.

Once their room was set up and they had changed into some comfier clothes, Erin made her way to the couch and plopped down while closing her eyes. Driving had taken a lot out of her and her back was so stiff it felt amazing just lie down. Meanwhile Jay went to the fridge to see if they had kindly stocked up on beer. After finding one and almost grabbing a second for Erin he opened it and sat down near Erin. It was quiet for a while , just Jay rubbing circles onto her thigh. He knew how tired she was and he could tell that just within the past few weeks he should have picked up on it , but he never would have jumped to the conclusion that she was pregnant.

Eventually Erin had dosed off, Jay could tell that her breathing had slowed down so he decided to turn on the tv and see if anything good was on. He flipped through a bunch of channels till he ended watching friends reruns on a late night show. He had slowly started to drift, but being the light sleeper he was he woke up immediately as Erin began to stir. He looked over immediately worried that she was having nightmare but found she had changed positions and he couldn't help the smile on his face. She had turned to lay completely flat on her back, but what made him smile was her maternal instincts kicking in already. She had her hand placed on the lower part of her belly, Jay smiled just imagining how great of a mother she will be. He got up quietly and slid his hands under her to gently pick her up and carry her to their bed. Once they both got settled she moved to his side, leaning as close to him as possible and Jay fell asleep to the feeling of her heart beat on his chest.

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The smell of bacon, maybe eggs and what was it? Maybe toast? Erin woke up to the delicious smell of a home cooked breakfast but it did not smell so delicious to her. She immediately ran to the bathroom having the urge to throw up. Jay heard movement from the bedroom and decided to check on her, his heart immediately dropped when he heard the sound of her in the bathroom. He walked up to the door which she had locked, "Erin, babe you okay? Let me in."

"I am fine, you don't need to see me like this please I am okay." Erin said wiping her mouth, she felt like crap. Who knew that morning sickness would come so son, and she definitely wasn't expecting it.

"Erin, please let me see you." Jay was hurt that she didn't want his help, they were supposed to be there for each other even when they were at their worst. And hearing the plea in his voice, Erin scooted away from the toilet and unlocked the door. When Jay entered his eyes fell to Erin with dark circles under her eyes and her hair masked to her face. He immediately grabbed a wash cloth and sat her on the edge of the bathtub.

"Erin, I don't care about what you look like even when you are sick. I am always here for you no matter what" Jay said while running the warm washcloth over her face trying to clean her up as much as possible. "How about this, you hop in the shower and get cleaned up and I will make you some tea to help with your stomach. Then we will have the rest of the day to spend at the beach , if you are feeling up to it.

Erin just quickly nodded her head and Jay turned the shower on for her and helped her get inside. While she was showering Jay packed bags and got everything ready for them to enjoy their day on the beach, he was so excited. This is exactly what they needed.

When she finished showering and threw her bathing suit and clothes on, Jay had everything in his hands ready to go and they headed for the water. They set up a big umbrella and towels and Erin couldn't wait and just ran in the water. Jay stood back and watched her run in, and before long he was in the water with her. They splashed each other and messed around just enjoying the quality time together. When they had finally settled and decided to take a breath, Erin wrapped her arms around Jay as they sat in the now calm water, it was getting close to evening time.

"I didn't even think about this but when should we tell everyone?" Jay questioned, they hadn't really talked about it.

"Um I would say after 12 weeks which it won't be much longer, I think that would be good we will just have to keep it our secret until then." Erin smiled and gave Jay a quick peck on the lips.

"Wait why 12 weeks?" Jay was confused as to why that certain time. Erin really didn't want to let him know she was scared but she wanted to make sure nothing went wrong and with her incident before, Will warned her that there could be consequences. Waiting the 12 weeks was to make sure she wouldn't miscarry even though she could later on in the pregnancy it was the date most doctors recommended it was most of the time safe.

"12 weeks is when most doctors clear the thoughts of miscarriage, I just want to be sure" Erin said lowering her eyes not wanting to make contact with Jay's.

"Erin don't even think about that, we will take all precautions and you and this baby will be safe no matter what. Erin hey" Jay lifted her face to his, "This is our time , we are starting a family and we need to be positive and enjoy this. I know that this is what I have been wanting for a long time and I couldn't be happier. I can't wait for this journey with you, so don't worry babe." With that Jay pressed a kiss to her temple.

"Well I will be happy until I can't fit into my clothes anymore, ooh honey if you think I am moody now, let me tell you." Erin joked making Jay laugh.

" I will love you no matter what, just know that." Jay smiled at her and placed his hand on her stomach, lightly rubbing his thumb on her skin to soothe her. They sat there in the water just enjoying each other because before they would know it, things wouldn't be so smiley anymore.

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Okay so I know it was pretty fluffy, but I felt like this chapter had to be with Jay finding out. But don't fret the drama is coming, I can't wait for you guys to see what is next! Please leave me reviews on what you would like to see and how you liked this chapter! Thanks!


	12. Family

Hey guys! So I know it has been a while since I have posted a new chapter for this story and I apologize for that, I just kinda lost where the story is going but I am back and ready to go! I will be going further into the pregnancy and this new chapter is a bit of a time jump. Hope you enjoy!

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It was the third time that morning that she had rushed into the bathroom. She had tried to make it seem normal and that she was going to get stuff from the locker room but sometimes she had to make it fast and she felt the eyes of her team on her. She was about 10 weeks and even though she did not want to say anything to her team she knew it was becoming a risky situation. She hated the fact that she was keeping this from Voight but she had to wait. She didn't know why it was so important to her, maybe because of all the people she had lost in her life but she had to wait.

She could hear footsteps walking to the bathroom as she finished wiping her face clean, she was exhausted. The team hadn't had a big case or anything but just the running around and the stacks of paperwork were taking a toll on her. Not to mention her ankles were swollen and her back was killing her. She quickly grabbed a paper towel to dry her hands as Kim entered the locker room.

"Erin? Is everything okay? This is the third time I have seen you run in here today." Kim asked Erin with a concerned look on her face.

Erin wanted to tell one of her closest friends so badly but she couldn't get herself to say it, "Just a stomach bug I think. I am okay, thanks for checking up on me."

Kim wanted to believe her friend but she knew there was something more to the situation and she didn't want to push Erin. "Okay well Voight wants us in the bull pen, something important on a new case. Come on." And with that Erin followed Kim out to her desk. Sh could feel Jay's eyes on her and decided to meet his with a faint smile to let him know she was okay. Once she sat down she felt much better, she braced herself for the new case they were about to be told about.

Voight walked out of his office pinning pictures to their board without saying a word, no one spoke but the pictures said thousand words. Three females torn apart, bloody, barely even recognizable, and dead. Erin had to look away from the pictures before she would be running back to the bathroom.

"Alright three middle aged women were found this morning in an alley off of Braxon street. All evidence has been sent to the crime lab for any dna or other evidence not found. It looks like they were strangled and brutally stabbed. Vanessa Buxon, Geralynne Alexander, and Lauren Graver all ID'd at the scene all registered nurses at Springfield hospital two blocks away. From the looks of it, they had seemed to be heading into shift, we will need the hospital's records and Antonio Ruzek I want you all there immediately after we finish up here. Apparently these nurses had been supplying a drug ring here , the police was notified when many drugs were not accounted for in their department. We need to look into this."

Voight paused and looked back at Erin which made her feel uneasy. What was he about to say? Because from the looks of it Voight was having trouble saying it. "As for suspects, the cameras were not working there in the alley but we do have footage of an black SUV pulling up around the time of death for the girls. Now uh we only got a blurry picture but we ID'd the man to be Teddy Worth." Voight paused before Turing back around to the board and slowly putting up a picture of a blonde older man that Erin recognized immediately.

Teddy? Her brother? It was like everything was in slow motion, she could hear Voight continuing to talk but she couldn't make out his words. Her breathing began to become labored, it was getting so hot in the room. What was he doing at the scene of the crime, he wouldn't have ever gotten involved in something like this would he? Her and was running a mile a minute, she couldn't even process all of her thoughts and she didn't even realize Vight had stopped talking until she felt an hand on her shoulder.

"Erin? Hey you okay?" It was his voice, that voice that made her calm down within seconds and she knew she was safe. Although she knew she was fine she was still in shock, she couldn't do anything but nod her head yes. There was some more talking she heard around her and then she was being led into the break room with the door being shut behind her.

"Erin, we don't know anything for sure okay? We are hoping that he has no part in this but we need more information. Don't jump to any conclusions." He had sat her down on the couch and moved his body next to hers to hold her. HE smelled of her favorite deodorant and he was so warm, his heart beat beating in his chest calmed her breathing and her mind. She didn't want him to let go of her.

"Are you feeling okay? I know I can't really say anything in front of the others yet but you had me worried. Three times in one morning is a record for you." Jay's voice was soft, almost a whisper.

She finally had enough strength to lean back and look into his eyes, "I am fine, you don't need to worry. What we do need to worry about is the fact that my brother may be involved of the murder of three young innocent women." Her eyes had a fire in them, she needed to be on board with case as much as possible.

"Okay we will but Erin hey don't let this stress you outfit isn't good for you." He moved his hand to her belly, softly rubbing his thumb in circles. Her hand found his and lifted it off of her stomach and she got up.

"I am going to figure out what Teddy was doing, I have to. He is my family." And with that she was walking out of the break room leaving a worried Jay on the couch.

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Voight's office door was opened which got him to turn around in his chair. He knew she would be coming to him sometime soon. "Erin hey, sit down I've been wanting to talk to you."

Erin smiled a small faint smile and sat down, "So what do we know? Is he in danger? Was he a part of this?" She almost sounded like she was going to break just asking those questions, she didn't want them to actually be true. Voight analyzed her and debated whether or not to tell her all of the information he knew.

"Look kiddo as of right now we think we might be dealing with a big drug lord, we don't know anything for sure but Teddy might be a part of that. We think these nurses being killed was a way to stop from being caught. We think they were getting threatened to give supplies to this group. We don't know anything for sure about who killed them but we are gonna need someone undercover to go in . We think they might be going back to target more nurses since they are not getting their supply anymore." Voight was very hesitant to say the last part because he hadn't announced it to his team yet, he didn't know who he wanted to send in. "I was thinking Atwater, we could use him because they might confide more in a male nurse."

Erin was trying to comprehend all the information given to her, undercover? She could do that, she would be perfect for that! If Teddy was a part of it she could talk to him and she could figure this out and get him out of this mess safely. "What about me? If Teddy is a part of this he could come to me and I could get the information, I am sure he is not doing this by choice." She had the fire in her eyes again, she was burning up with determination.

"I don't know Erin, this is a big case what if- what if they went after you like the nurses. There is no guarantee. I know you can handle yourself and take it but I just got you back, would you be ready for this?"

Erin stood up and looked into his eyes, she knew he was just looking out for her and she appreciated that but she knew what she had to do. "When it comes to family, I will always be ready."

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Okay so I hope you liked it. and now hopefully you can see the direction I am going towards! Will Jay let Erin go undercover now that she is pregnant? Please leave me reviews! I appreciate hearing your feedback! I have been missing Erin and Jay so much together on CPD, I am not liking this new love interest for Jay. Anyways the next chapter will be out soon! Thanks!


	13. Selfless

Hi guys so I got some concerns about how the precincts policy wouldn't allow her to go undercover with he pregnant but just keep in mind that Jay and Erin are the only ones that know that she is pregnant. I hope you enjoy this chapter!It is kinda a filler chapter for right now, it just focuses Please leave me your thoughts and reviews! It is much appreciated!

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"You what? Erin are you kidding me? Undercover? There is no way I am letting you go undercover!" Jay's voice had gotten loud. He was trying to process why Erin would volunteer herself to go undercover when she knew that she had to think about their baby now, not just her. Going undercover was the last thing Jay was going to let Erin do, he can handle holding off telling everyone but not this.

"Jay it is my brother we are talking about here! Teddy, and who knows what trouble he is in! I need to help him." Erin was starting to feel light headed now, they had left work and headed home. Erin decided to tell Jay on the car ride home, and he kept quiet until he couldn't hold his thoughts back anymore. They were now both standing in their living room facing each other, the sound level increasing by the minute. All Erin wanted to do was protect her brother, because she knew that something else had to be going on. She could not believe that he was a part of the murder of the nurses and the drug dealing.

Jay sighed after hearing Erin's last statement, "Erin you don't need to help everyone. First Bunny and now Teddy, can't you see that your family is just trouble and that this is dangerous. Stop thinking about your family for one second and think about OUR child for once!" Jay immediately regretted what he said as soon as he said it and he immediately sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Wait Erin I didn't mean that." He opened his eyes and his anger changed to worry, she had become very pale and was swaying a bit as if she was loosing her balance. He immediately reached out to her, "Erin hey woah let's sit down." He led her to the couch and sat down next to her. His arm reached around her and he looked at her with worry.

"Erin hey what just happened? Are you okay?" Jay moved a strand of hair out of her face, waiting for her response. She had become very quiet and he should have been paying more attention, this fighting probably wasn't the best thing for her right now. She was stressed to the max and he could tell and instantly felt bad for not thinking about that. He just got so angry at the thought that she would be putting herself and their baby in danger.

"I'm fine, I uh just got dizzy for a second. I am good now." She sighed and leaned back while her hand automatically went to her small protruding bump and she rubbed her thumb back and forth across the small portion of skin that peeked out from her shirt. Jay knew that this stress was too much for her, and it could cause complications so he knew exactly what he had to do.

"Erin please relax, look I am sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said. I know you just want to help your brother and I can't blame you. That is the person you are and that is exactly why I fell in love with you, you are so selfless and you always put people before you but now it's time you have to put yourself first and our baby. You aren't just breathing and living for yourself anymore, it's our baby. Please just think about that and hear me out." He grabbed both of her hands and turned her towards him, looking deeply into her hazel eyes. "This undercover mission is too risky, we are talking about one of the biggest drug lords and did you see the pictures of those nurses? That was brutal Erin, and I can't let you go and risk that happening to you. I can't lose you Erin or this baby." His hands moved to her cheek, and Erin leaned into his touch.

"I'm sorry I know, I just can't think about the fact that Teddy can be in trouble. He is the only family I have besides Voight, I haven't seen him in years but he is family and I have taken care of him since we were little it is just instincts." Erin looked down at there intertwined hands and smiled at them sadly. "I have lost so many people Jay."

Jay's heart almost shattered at her last statement, he could barely even hear her say it because her voice had lowered to a whisper. He knew Erin had lost a lot of people in her life, and she had to grow up so fast as a child. He didn't even want to think about everything she had told him over the years. It was a long process to even get her to open up to Jay.

"Baby I know that it is hard but hey look at me," He lifted her face to meet his. "You have Voight, me, our team, and now our baby. You have an never ending support system with people that would do anything for you. And I can tell you right now that all of them would be telling you that going undercover is not a smart idea. Trust me please, just please tell Voight no."

Erin leaned towards his body and rested her head in the crook of his neck, Jay pulled her even closer. He could smell her fruity shampoo, she smelled like home to him and he never wanted to let go. "I'm sorry for making you angry that was not my intentions, I won't do the undercover case. It was stupid, I should have thought about it."She leaned in and gave Jay a kiss on his cheek, causing him to smile. "I will tell Voight that I changed my mind.. actually I should probably tell him the big news. The thing is now who is he gonna send in to work the case?"

Jay's mind was running a mile a minute , he was of course happy that Erin finally listened to him but he was also thinking about who could take the case. He leaned in and grabbed Erin by her chin and pulled her face to his, placing his lips gently against hers and kissed her with everything he had. They eventually headed off to bed, while Erin was jumping fulling the covers to her chest Jay needed to get out for just one second. "I am gonna grab some water, need anything?" Once she shook her head, he walked out to the living room and dialed the number he never imagined he would call on a Friday night.

The line picked up and he heard a gruff voice answer, "Jay?"

It took everything in him not to go and run and ask Erin first but he knew he was the one for the job, he had to do it, for Erin, for the baby, for Teddy.

"Put me on the undercover case."

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	14. Gone

Hey guys it has been a hot minute since I have written for this fic! I kinda lost my motivation when they took Erin off the show, and I didn't know where I wanted to take this story! But I'm back and I am hoping to finish it! Please leave comments and suggestions as it helps so much when I am writing! Thanks! I hope you guys like it!

Quick recap: Erin and Jay were kidnapped but made it out. Erin was really roughed up but is all healed now. She found out she is pregnant (which could come with some complications), and Jay has taken an undercover position instead of her to protect her. The case involves Teddy her brother and a big drug lord.

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She stood in the doorway, leaning against the wall as she watched him fold and pack his clothes and things he would be needing while he was away. She could see the closet and it already looked so empty, her heart broke at what it would actually be like without him being in the apartment with her.

She took a sip of her tea and placed her lips on the outer rim as she continued watching him, it wasn't long before he felt her eyes on him and he turned to face her. He smiled faintly at her, he really didn't want to be leaving but he knew how important this was to Erin to help Teddy and Voight trusted him.

"Where are you staying again?" Erin pushed this question for what felt like the thousandth time. Jay just sighed as he ran his hand over his face, lingering on the scruff that he managed to grow in the last week. Erin liked it but it was just for the case.

He made his way over to her in the doorway, and his hands travelled to her hips. The physical contact immediately calmed her, and she let her forehead fall to his chest. "You know I can't tell you Erin, but I have the burner phone. You can text me there. If we get lucky, I can possibly call you." Jay said quietly into the top of her head. He wanted to take everything in while he could. He didn't know how long the case would take.

He didn't want to miss anything. He wanted to be here for her and their baby. He wanted this case to be over with.

"I know... I know." Erin mumbled into his shirt. Jay got chills as he felt her warm breath on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, and thought about never letting her go but he knew he couldn't do that.

Erin hugged him back and lifted her head to look up into his eyes. She searched them, memorizing the bright blues and light green that was mixed in. She pecked him lightly on the lips, "Come on, let's get you to the station. Voight's waiting."

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They were in the garage as mouse was giving Jay the run down, and attaching his wire. They were speaking quietly in the corner of the garage as Erin watched. She didn't want to take her eyes off of him, cause she felt that if she did, she might not ever get to see him again.

Voight finished setting up the van and the equipment to Jay's mic and phone, and stepped down to find Erin standing across the room looking at Jay. Her hand protectively covering her stomach, she probably didn't even realize she was doing it.

He made his way over to her, and she dropped her hand trying to keep her pregnancy a secret still. Voight just stood next to her and they both gazed at Jay watching him get set up.

"You doing okay?" Erin wanted to laugh at Voight's question, she didn't even have an answer right now. She felt like she was falling apart if she was honest.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just hope this case doesn't last long." Erin turned to give him a smile, it was fake. She knew he could tell.

Voight nodded at her and hummed with agreement. "So how far along are you?"

This got her attention and she turned towards him with wide eyes, "You know?"

Voight laughed and placed his hand on her shoulder, "Erin, I watched you in my house for years. I watched you grow up. Not to mention I have had my own kid. Yes kiddo, I know. What I want to know is why you felt you couldn't tell me. "

Erin didn't know what to say, she felt embarrassed that she didn't tell her father figure. "It wasn't anything personal, no one knows. I wanted to make sure everything was okay before I told anyone." Voight immediately understood and placed his arm around her.

"Well I am happy for you Erin." He turned to look at her, seeing her eyes water. "I have seen how you are with the kids on our cases, if anything you were made to be a mom." Erin smiled at him, letting a few tears slip. "That kid is gonna be so lucky."

Erin leaned into Voight and stayed there, letting her eyes wander back to Jay.

"Not to mention he is gonna have a terrific grandpa." They both laughed, Erin wiped away at her tears as their laughing got Jay's attention and his eyes found hers. Voight noticed and wanted to give them some time before he left. He kissed the top of her head, "Go on, I'll catch you later. We will definitely be needing to talk about arrangements for you." With that he walked back up the stairs to the bull pen.

Erin slowly made her way to Jay as mouse had just finished attaching his wire. "What was that all about?" Jay questioned, noticing the conversation between Erin and Voight. Erin smiled at him and ran a hand through his hair, she could feel the gel holding it in place.

"He knows I'm pregnant." Jay's eyes grew big.

"Thats great Er, I feel better that he knows now before I leave." Erin's hand was now at his cheek, running her thumb over his soft skin. She nodded agreeing with him.

They stood there just looking at each other. Jay leaned his head into her cheek, and placing his hand on top of hers. "Everything will be okay Er. I want you to take care of yourself. I will try and be in touch as much as possible okay?" Erin pressed her lips together as she was trying not to let Jay see her cry. "I'm gonna be back and this will all be over with, but you need to take care of yourself and our baby."

That's when she couldn't hold it in anymore. She looked down trying to hide it, but Jay lifted her Chin so he could see her face. "I will, I promise."

He nodded and sighed with relief, he thought she would be stubborn. "Okay... good." They both jumped with surprise at the sound of the garage doors opening. He was going to have to leave in a few minutes and they both knew it.

They both turned to each other and Jay leaned in, his lips reaching hers. It was gentle and sweet. It was a goodbye kiss and she knew it.

When he pulled away, she kept her eyes closed still feeling how his lips were on hers.

"I love you." Jay said

"I love you too."

When she opened her eyes, she saw the black van pulling out of the garage and before she knew it.

Jay was gone.

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Hoped you guys liked it!


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